MOMS

Gotta love the moms. Without her I wouldn’t have been alive to get into all the fun situations I have written about. There was a time where she was a single mom and I am sure it had its challenges.

Roll mental camera…

Don’t get me wrong, my dad was in the picture, but I was living with my mom during the week. She got the brunt of my craziness.

I was about 12 when my parents divorced. Soon after that my mother took a job at a hotel and convention center because they allowed us to live and eat in the hotel. I am not sure if she did this out of necessity, but I am pretty sure she did.

Man I loved it, running around the back secret hallways and hiding out in empty conference rooms. I got to eat in the kitchen with the cooks and have pretty much anything I wanted. For a kid it was heavenly.

But for a mom I am sure it was a big old honking smack in the face. Going from being a homeowner to living in a hotel, from a tight family to broken. I am not sure if there was any support for single moms back then but I don’t think she had any outside her friends.

Do all you can to love and support single moms. Reach out and find some, don’t wait for them to come to you. If you are ready to jump in and help there is an awesome single mother’s conference here in Edmond that Kim Heinecke blogged about yesterday. Check out the site ariseministries.net. If that doesn't float your boat then other choices are just a google away.

Anyone have a strong single mom they want to give some props to?

FLIRTING WITH DANGER

Did you ever mess with something you knew you shouldn't. Don't know why we want to tempt fate or flirt with danger, but it sure has a way of getting even.

Roll mental camera...

When I was a kid a good buddy's backyard backed up to open lots on the next block. Across the street from these open lots was a business that had some very mean guard dog inside some very tall fences. Being ornery kids we used to enjoy tormenting the dogs from the other side of the fence. The dogs, of course, seemed to enjoy trying to eat are faces through the fence as much as we enjoyed watching them try. One evening right before dark we were in our usual torment session and all of a sudden we heard the hum of an electric motor and the rattle of the gate opening.

SOMEONE HAD SET THOSE DOGS LOOSE ON US!!!

The gate was on the opposite side of the property from where we were but we were still in huge trouble. We bolted for his backyard that wasn't but 50 yards away. My heart was about to jump out of my chest as I could hear the bark of these dogs growing louder. The dogs were snapping at our heels as we both jumped over his chain link fence. My buddy made it... I didn't. I fell on top of the chain link fence and it pierced through my abdomen and my arm. Boy that was fun let me tell you.

That should have taught me to never flirt with disaster ever again, but did it? Heck no. I have a pile of other great stories I might tell if you all are good boys and girls. But I think this sewed the seed and all of my other mess ups watered it. I might have finally learned to avoid disaster, at least for now.

Have you ever messed with danger and had it get even?

Did you learn from that or are you still flirting with it?

Ever been so scared you thought you were going to die or at least wet yourself?

LOST IN THE MUD

I wrote before about how much I enjoyed playing in the mud as a kid. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to stop enjoying it especially if you have a 4 wheel drive to add to the mix.

Roll mental camera…

In college, my buddies and I used to go to the lake and try to bury their 4 wheel drives in the mud. I didn’t own a 4 wheel drive vehicle so I lived vicariously in the back seat. Being a veteran backseat driver I would scream for them to go faster, hit that huge mud pit, scale that boulder and launch off that cliff. Sometimes they would listen, but this story is when they didn’t.

I was riding with a novice to the mud in his brand new Jeep. We approached a mud pit that I knew very well. I told him to get up some speed and keep on the gas as he hit the mud. The guy seemed bought in and hit the pedal. We were gaining speed and approaching the pit. Just as we entered the mud he chickened out and let off the gas. BIG HUGE MISTAKE.

If he would have kept up speed we would have skipped over the top of the mud. Since he let off the gas we lost all momentum and sank. As we started to sink the driver freaked out and floored it trying to save his new Jeep. I screamed for him to stop but he didn’t listen and BANG! He threw a rod in his engine.

We had to tow the car back to the city. Figuring the warranty would cover the engine, he towed the Jeep to a car wash to hide the evidence of misuse. Thinking he had cleaned the engine well enough he dropped it off at the dealership to be fixed. He was getting away with it until the mechanic opened the engine and found a cylinder full of mud. Needless to say they didn’t cover it under warranty.

I act just like that driver sometimes. I totally ignore what I am supposed to do. Yea maybe what I am supposed to do is scary or difficult, but that is no excuse to chicken out. Then I go and try to cover it all up. Maybe I try to wash it all away by doing good deeds. Or I might just ignore it ever happened. In hind sight it is always easier to keep on the gas.

Do you find yourself letting off the gas pedal and sinking in the mud?

Do you hit the spiritual car wash to hide it or make yourself feel better?

Ever seen a two week old car buried in four feet of mud?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

This picture of our boys is by far our favorite. It defines them both to a T. We want a good caption to go with it for a scrap book and that is where you come in.

Give us the funniest caption for this picture and get a coupon for a free sitting fee with Images of Life Photography. (Yes that is my wife's photography business)

FREE MONEY... FOR NOW

Being young and full of wonder just seems like a heck of a good time. I love watching my sons with their heads buried firmly in the clouds.

Roll Mental Camera...


Connor was in the bath tub this evening wiggling a tooth that is loose and talking out loud about how long it might be before it comes out. He decided to chew on some ice in an attempt to pop it out. After a few big chunks out pops a tooth. Wow it actually worked. But the funny thing is it wasn't the one he was wiggling earlier. Don't worry he didn't damage a good tooth, it was just another one that was ready but wasn't wiggling just yet.


He immediately went from the awe of losing the tooth to the horror of seeing his own blood and then excitement for the tooth fairy. Oh he was jacked up about that. Nothing better than free money. No work involved, just easy money.


He didn't even question the fairies existence just knew she was coming. I am still waiting for the day that he starts to ask about all those mystical beings. I see way too many kids grow up way to fast. I think keeping their little minds open to a wild imagination is so important. They have the rest of their lives to grow up. Why start now. I am just not sure what I am going to say when he asks if they are real.


Is continuing to believe in Santa, the tooth fairy and an egg laying bunny OK for a 9 year old, how about 13, when is too old?


What would or did you tell your kid when they finally asked the big question?


Can't kids just stay kids for a while longer?

HELLO IN CRANKINTOPIA

Third grade was a strange time in my life. I moved from a Christian school to a Catholic school in the middle of third grade. Talk about culture shock.

Roll mental camera…

Swats were the only thing similar between the two schools. I think some older version of the bible had a verse that commanded all teachers to beat the devil out of cantankerous lads like myself. I have yet to find it in any of my versions but I am sure it is there.

But there was one thing made the move all worthwhile. I had a wicked crush on my new third grade teacher, and yes she was a nun. Sick and twisted I know. But she was young and nice to me and never once hit me with a ruler.

I had to impress her by telling her hello and goodbye in a different language everyday. I would walk in the door and say “lratheratewy, that means Hello in Crackintopia.” She would always mention how lovely the language sounded and how beautiful it must be there. I was a master linguist by the time a left third grade. Yea right! I never researched any new languages, I just made it all up. But she never let on that she knew I was faking.

Embellishment is something I always found myself guilty of. It has become much less as I get older, but still guilty. But there were times in my youth where I wasn’t even sure the fact from fiction. When it comes to my faith I try to make extra sure I don’t embellish, but it has happened. I don’t pretend to be a model Christian because I am not. I don’t think it is possible. We want and strive to be but always fall short. No need to cover it up with lies, God will accept us, flaws and all. Kinda like that nun accepted me, she must have been reading the version of the bible I have.

Have you let yourself embellish about any part of your faith or walk with God?

Is embellishing something you struggle or have struggled with?

Did you ever get called out when exaggerating something?(man that is a fun time huh)

CHAIN LETTER

So I guess this is like the blog version of a chain letter. I hate the email versions but this is a pretty cool way to get to know someone. Sorry to the people I tagged if you didn't want to be tagged. But hey I want to know, so spill it... Thanks to Teresa for tagging me

Here are the rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their name, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What was I doing 10 years ago:
Ten years ago I was in the third year of marriage to my lovely wife Shelly and we were expecting our first son Connor. I was debating on whether or not I should leave retail mortgage lending for the broker world. Man I had a lot of wasted time on my hands back then

Five Snacks I enjoy:
In a perfect, non weight-gaining world (and if I could eat dairy):
1. Queso, queso and more queso
2. Pizza
3. Chocolate cake (no icing)
4. Cereal drowning in milk
5. McDonald’s, Sonic or Braum’s double cheeseburgers

In the real world:
1. I am a spin doctor
2. I don’t hold back
3. I am a night owl
4. I coach my son’s in all kinds of sports
5. I like a good adventure

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. I would start an organization that would pair up younger people with lonely older people. Kind of Big Brother/Big Sister in reverse. There are too many lonely people in this world
2. I would start a ministry where people can get clean and work at the same time. They learn a trade and upon graduation could work at a company I set up.
3. I would take my wife and kids to see the mountains

Five jobs that I have had:
1. Installed office furniture
2. Rented cars
3. Mortgage loan officer
4. Business to business sales
5. President of a title and escrow company

Three of my habits:
1. I am a blackberry/crackberry addict
2. I hit my snooze button way too many times
3. I have a tendency to take over cooking for my wife (not sure she minds)

Five place I have lived:
1. Oklahoma City, OK
2. Shiprock, NM (with the Navajos for three months I will tell that story later)
3. Stillwater, OK (college)
4. Edmond, OK
5. sorry only 4

What do you want others to get from your blog:
Mostly just to make people laugh. People don’t do it enough. They can laugh at me or with me I don’t care as long as they just do it. If they get a swift kick in the pants along the way that works too.

Five People I Want to Get to Know Better:
(a nice way of saying TAG!)
But don't feel obligated! Just do it if you want to.
1. Justin
2. Matt
3. Jessica
4. Gina
5. Scott

OUT WITH YA

I was talking last week about the dog I had as a kid. Today I am going to tell you about my mother’s dog, if you could call it that.

Roll mental camera…

My mom bought this black Lhasa Apso puppy that she named Cashmere. Cashmere was as soft and cuddly as the name described. But, like all puppies, she was not so good about potty training. They would put Cashmere outside to go potty and she would come back in and pee on the carpet.

Finally, many months later, my mother banished poor Cashmere to the backyard indefinitely. The dog was well fed and watered while she was out there, but that is about it. Her hair grew long and matted and she stunk bad! If Peppy Le Pew would have been into dogs, he would have even passed on her.

I think it was nearly three years before they finally gave in and let the poor thing in the house. Once they got her trimmed up and bathed she was a new dog. Cashmere was once again soft and cuddly, but this go round she was also potty trained. That dog would have rather exploded than go on the carpet after that.

Could you image what it would be like if we got cast out of God’s family if we screwed up too many times? I am so glad to have comfort in that fact that no matter how bad I screw up God is always willing to let me back in the house. But sometimes I wonder if getting the boot would wise me up. I will try to avoid peeing on His carpet in the future.

Have you made a mess that was boot worthy in the past?

Would getting the boot for a while knock some sense into you?

Anyone else have a pet that paid the price for making a mess?

We adopted a dog that chewed about $2,000 worth of woodwork in our house the first day. Needless to say we de-adopted it quickly.

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

Today's attempt at humor comes from the book Live and Learn and Pass It On. There is a wide range of quotes in the book but I stuck with the funny ones. Enjoy

• I've learned that I always think of the right thing to say when it is too late
• Age 30

• I've learned that when my baby thinks he is hungry it doesn't matter what I think
• Age 37

• I've learned that my wife's cooking is good no matter how bad it is
• Age 31

• I've learned that flipping the channels is not annoying if I hold the remote
• Age 42

• I've learned that if you hang something in the closet for a while it shrinks two sizes
• Age 62

• I've learned Santa Claus has good years and bad years
• Age 10

• I've learned that you have to listen to your brain, it has lots of information
• Age 7

• I've learned if you die broke, the timing was right
• Age 64

• I've learned you can gain two pounds by eating half a pound of fudge
• Age 16
  

DRESS UP

Love my sister, always have loved my sister. But didn’t really like her much when she…

Roll mental camera…

Made me be the mannequin for her dress up parties. I must have been no more than 3 or 4. I’m not sure if I actually remember this or have just seen too many pictures and heard too many stories. But I outgrew her a few years after this so I couldn’t have been much older.

I used to stand there and pout while she draped all kinds of outfits on me. I would usually make it until she would pull out the frilly girl stuff and then I was out of there. The clothes were big on me and so I had a hard time getting them off fast enough to escape. I sure couldn’t defend myself from the make up attacks with my arms buried under layers of frill. Running away was usually a fool’s errand because the clothes were always longer than I was tall, causing me to trip.

That is the way I feel now when I think about how I wear my spiritual armor. I am just a boy playing dress up. The helmet of salvation flopping down over my eyes… The breastplate of righteousness hanging all crooked… Have to cut an extra hole in the belt of truth so it will fit… Can just barely lift the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit…

But hey that is OK, for now. I manage pull it all together when I need to. I have a bunch of people who have my back and sides so I don’t have to worry there. Plus I always have the Big Man in my corner. The armor may not fit perfect but it least it is on and I plan on keeping it there. I hope to grow into all of it one day.

Do you feel your armor is on tight or are you still a bit clumsy in it?

Do you have enough people in your army to help defend you?

Who else got tormented by an older sibling?

(Just to be fair I did my fair share of tormenting her, so don’t feel too sorry for me.)

THE METER MAN

So yesterday we were talking about the gigantic walking tongue covered in fur named Kippy. I know that must sound terrible for those of you that didn’t read yesterday’s post so please go enlighten yourself by reading it now… no go ahead… the rest of us will wait… OK welcome back. Kippy, as you read, was my beast of a dog growing up. He had at least one more lesson for me. This one I didn’t learn until recently and it is a biggie.

Roll mental camera…

When Kippy was just a wee pup, wee pup meaning three feet tall and 50 pounds, he was curious about everything and everyone. One day the meter man came by on his rounds and hopped the chain link fence into our backyard. Kippy saw him as a big new toy to play with and lumbered his way across the yard, tail just a wagging. Kippy never barked at the man or showed him any kind of aggression but this guy didn’t even give him a chance. He pulled out his can of mace and shot Kippy right in the eyes.

Needless to say Kippy was not fond of the meter man after that. The meter man had become #1 on Kippy’s most wanted list. By the time Kippy was six months old he could leap a chain link fence in a single bound, and he had no issue jumping through eight backyards to get a shot at revenge. Dad put up a string of hot wire that must have been 2 feet above the top of the fence but that didn’t help, Kippy would jump right through it. He would even climb stockade fences if he thought he might get a taste of meter man butt.

Years later, Kippy actually did catch one and got his revenge by taking a bite out of him. It was not pretty. So my parents took him away to be a police dog. I didn’t find out until I was 15 that “going to be a police dog” meant they put him to sleep. Man I bought their story hook, line and sinker.

It makes me sick to think how many people I have “maced” in my life before I gave them a chance. A roll of the eye here, a cold shoulder there or just ignoring them all together… judgment had been rendered. I may have caused these people to hate everything I stand for and everyone I am associated with. HYPOCRITE…

MY HYPOCRISY IS OVER and I will no longer judge a book by its cover. I ask you to do the same. Love thy neighbor as thyself, and my definition of neighbor just took on a whole new meaning.

Who is with me on setting judgment aside and being open to anyone and everyone?

HOUNDS OF HELL

OK, so it was one dog and he wasn’t from hell but the kids from the neighborhood sure thought he was.

Roll mental camera…

So my dad was a genius with a blow torch. Well more like a mad scientist. When I was a kid he decided to take the parts of multiple jungle gyms, swing sets and even a washing machine, and with his blow torch, erect the most incredible and inexplicable behemoth of playing wonderment. This thing could keep an entire troop of Chinese acrobats busy for hours. All the kids from the block couldn’t wait to play on it.

Enter hound from hell stage left, it was our dog Kippy (scary name I know). Kippy was harmless enough but being an Irish Wolfhound mix, he was HUGE and scared the pants off people. He would also tackle and lick the face off of any person that entered the backyard. So I would sacrifice myself to Kippy so my friends could sneak by and get up on the monstrosity we called a jungle gym. Good friend huh?

Sacrificing myself for a friend became harder and harder to do as I got older. I have now reversed that trend and am trying my best to jump in harms way to help a friend. I still am struggling with doing it for people I don’t know that may need it more. But I am getting there.

How likely are you to throw yourself to the hounds to save a friend?

How about a stranger that may really need help?

Did you have a pet that covered you in slobbery love as a kid?

WHERE THERE IS SMOKE

That saying that every kid learns. It is like riding a bike, once you learn it you never forget. I am not even sure I remember when I learned it, but all I know is that I did and it is permanently attached to my brain.

Roll mental camera…

I had a dangerous love of fire as a kid. I was probably 9 or 10 and my friends and I were messing around in the shed in my backyard. I saw the can of gasoline and figured I would show off. Since I was of course the smartest child on the planet I went in the house and got a plastic cup to put the gasoline in. I filled the plastic cup about half way with the gas (didn’t want it to spill), sat it down in the middle of the backyard and tossed in the match.

The fire was very cool until the plastic started to melt. Then the freaking started. Everybody was screaming and running in circles. One of my friends, who may have been even smarter than I, was decided to run up and stomp on it. Not a good idea. Instead of snuffing out the fire, the gas splashed up on his pants and set him on fire.

So what was the first thing he heard being screamed at him by all of us standing around? I know you just said it in your head, didn't ya? Yep, “STOP, DROP and ROLL!!” He did just that and within just a few seconds the fire was out.

I know it would be funny to hear adults yell things like this at each other when we see someone doing something dangerous, but I bet it would help keep us in line. There should be a whole mess of impossible to forget sayings for adult situations and everyone should be forced to know them. Like if you see someone using a credit card you could yell “SWIPER NO SWIPING” (sorry Dora the Explorer, it fit). Man that would get me to put my credit card back in my pocket.

Do you have a issue that needs a saying?

Can you all think of some good saying for situations that get people into trouble?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

Deleise linked my mud post and her family's application of it. Check it out. Glad I could help loosen things up.

Patrick mentioned in last weeks unscripted how the Vavrinaisms reminded him of the demotivator posters. I totally agree and so I thought I would post some of the funniest ones I found. Thanks Patrick

Have a great weekend everyone.




And one more cool pic from the wife

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Spring has sprung and that means my wife will be filling the memory cards on her camera at light speed. Thank goodness I don't have to buy film anymore. Here are some of my favorite shots she has taken. I won't need to roll any mental camera for you today so enjoy. If these don't make you want to scream GOD IS GOOD, nothing will.

70's HOT ROD

This post is not about a cool 70’s muscle car. But for those of you old enough you probably had more experiences in a car like this. For those of you not old enough, count your blessings you had air conditioning. The family cruiser, whatever make and model you had they all pretty much were the same back then.

Roll mental camera…

So I am rolling with mom in the hot, and I mean hot, orange Chevy Vega. It had black faux leather seats, otherwise known as vinyl. I remember the day as a bit on the warm side for Oklahoma. That meant the vinyl was just right for peeling the flesh off of any exposed area of your body. It is of course the 70’s and so I would have been wearing shorts that I am not sure had a measurable inseam. But hey that was the style. The back of my legs would have paid dearly but I had remembered to bring a towel to sit on. OK on with the real story...

We were running low on gas so we pull into the station near our house. Mom hops out and begins to fill up. Yes just like that, no prepaying or pump start cards, amazing I know. When the car was full, at a cost of a whopping $9, she jumped into the car to get her purse. At that point she realized she had left it at home. So what would any good mom of the 70’s do, you might ask? SHE FLOORED IT.

Just kidding, but that probably would have been the safer bet. No she left me at the station as collateral. What is even funnier is that the gas station was OK with that. She ran home and got her purse and came to collect me. She trusted them to keep me safe. They trusted her to actually return to pick me up. I trusted that my mom would actually come back to pay because gas was only 75 cents a gallon. We all trusted each other.

If we tried that today the owner would want to have us arrested for trying to steal gas. We would rather leave our car than trust a person with our kids. Protective services would show up if we had the gall to leave our kids. Trust is running thin in people but maybe that will force us to trust in God alone.

Do you think the lack of trust in man helps man trust God more?

Do you think the lack of trust in man has hindered the growth of the Christian church?

Do you remember the pain of hot vinyl, or were pawned for gas?

MUD PIES

Happy Happy Joy Joy (yes I used to watch Ren and Stimpy). Mud to me was like the Wii of this generation. Mud pies of course were one of my favorite results. In my generation mud was about as interactive as it got.

Roll mental camera…

My parents were very cool about allowing me to play in the mud. So cool in fact that my dad would bring out the rototiller and tear up perfectly good grass just so I could make a mud pit. When I say mud pit I mean mud pit. I could have buried a wooly mammoth in one of those suckers. I don’t think there was anything that my parents could have bought me that would have kept me out of the mud.

I had my times where I didn’t make the best decisions when it came to the mud. I once or maybe twice walked into the house covered in it. I thought dumping it into the fan on the air conditioner was really cool until it burned out the motor. I covered my dog in it. I covered my sister in it. But hey I was a boy and that is what boys did.

I find my self so often trying to keep my boys from wrecking my nice yard or telling them not to jump in mud puddles. I am trying to get rid of that side of me that worries about what it will look like and just let them have fun. Too bad if the neighbors don’t like it huh? I would much rather lose my sons in my torn up yard full of mud than lose them to a video game.

What looks nice in your life that needs to be torn up for your kids?

Any mud lovers out there?

DETECTORATING

Kid’s church has been talking about camp and how it is rated “ARRGH”. The pirate theme made me think of treasure maps and finding gold. I always wanted to be a pirate as a kid and there was one day that I almost felt like one.

Roll mental camera…

My dad had a metal detector that I got to stand next to a lot while he searched for buried treasure. When it beeped I was always super excited and my dad had no problem letting me dig every hole. I always wanted my shot at holding the magic metal finder and the response was always “when you’re older.”

Finally one day my dad gave me a shot at “metal detectorating” as W would say. He showed me how to hold it and what all the lights and beeps meant. I went out to the back yard and started bleeping and digging, beeping and digging, pinging and digging and not finding anything. Just as I was starting to get discouraged I heard the loudest beep and I just knew I had found the mother load. I actually drew a big X on the ground before I started digging.

It took a minute or two of digging but then there it was. I saw something silver. I pulled it out of the ground and it was an old buffalo head nickel. Just one would have been enough but then I saw another and then another. I don’t recall now how many there were but they filled up both of my pockets. All I needed was a patch, a peg leg, and a parrot and I would have been good to go.

I came to find out, when I was older, that my dad had planted those nickels there for me to find. He wanted my first experience to be a good one helping to solidify my self confidence. He made sure I was going to win. As I sit back and think, I wonder how many times he did that. I’m not sure I could even count how many times I have done that for my own boys. There will be so many times in their lives when failure stares them right in the face. I want to make sure my children know how good it feels to succeed. Failure will be nothing but a step toward that success.

Do you think it is wrong to let your kids win?

What is your kid’s favorite game that you let them win?

What game are they now whipping your butt in that you used to have to let them win?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

Good ol’ father-in-law Vavrina has poured forth another round of Vavrinaisms for us.

Enjoy

• A PERSON WHO SMILES IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY PROBABLY HAS A SCAPE-GOAT

• INDECISION IS THE KEY TO FLEXIBILITY

• SET YOUR GOALS LOW AND AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT

• EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DON’T GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES

• TEAMWORK MEANS YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THE BLAME BY YOURSELF

• PLAGIARISM SAVES TIME

• INSOMNIA IS NOTHING TO LOSE SLEEP OVER

I figured I would give the lawyers a break this week

UNWAVERING

I want a Red Rider carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle. I know it is April but give me a break, it was a good lead it. Now read, go on, I triple dog dare you.

Roll mental camera…

When I was about eight received a small pocket knife for a present. I was so excited about that knife. All I could think of was the grand adventures I was going to have. It was like the Red Rider BB Gun was to Ralphie. I was going to be McGuyver Jr. But the first thing I needed to do was make sure I had a fool proof hiding place for it. I didn’t want it getting lost now did I?

Being the brightest 8 year old on the planet I hid it where nobody else would ever look. The top left hand drawer of my dresser of course! Oh but I could stop there. What if I forgot where I hid it in the future? I had to make sure I could find it when needed. Did I tie a ribbon around my finger to help me remember? Maybe a treasure map? How about a post it note? No, not me, I now had a pocket knife. I decide to carve the word knife into the front of the drawer that I hid it in. I even spelled it right and everything.

I didn’t like the consequences of my actions that day, but I did like how perfectly clear the message was. There was no gray area. There was a knife in that drawer, no ifs, ands or buts about it. I love the aspects of my life that I now know well enough to carve “knife” on. They are black and white, unwavering. Still working on the rest…

Don’t you love getting rid of the gray area in your life?

What do you think the most black and white part of the bible is?

What was your Red Rider BB Gun growing up?

NAME DROPPING

Name dropping is something I have been guilty of from time to time. I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me of another kind of name dropping that has a totally different meaning.

Roll mental camera…

When I was a kid I was a bit ornery, a cut up, cantankerous, obstinate, pig –headed, and that is just the short list. My parents tried to keep me in line with constant gluteus compression therapy, otherwise known as a good butt whipping. That is probably the only thing that kept me alive. I would push the limit until, like Bill Cosby would say, “The beatings will now commence!” But I always knew when they were going to commence because they were always preceded by my parents doing a little name dropping at the top of their voice, or in a whisper through clenched teeth if we were in public. Oh I can still hear it now…

ROGER!!!! DAN!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!

I knew I was in for it then. While I was being lead to my room, my mind dreamt up all kinds of torture many times worse than in this post. Now don’t get me wrong my parents were not abusers, they loved me enough to use the gluteus compression therapy. I thank them for it, I needed to hear the “Roger Dan Dammit” because I knew that if they didn’t use those three words together and in that order I was golden. If it was a mild “Dang It Roger” or a simple “Roger Dan” I knew I would live to see another day so I would keep pushing and pushing the limits until I crossed the line.

Hearing those words was my wake up call, my alarm clock. It brought me back to reality and pushed me back over the line where I needed to be. As I have gotten older I have realized how nice it was to have that wake up call. For many years after I left home I didn’t really have that. So now I try to hear God yelling at me, though I am sure it would not those same three words. I have also surrounded myself with a good group of people that will hold me accountable.

Do you have your wake up call in place?

What are you doing that is setting it off?

What did your parents yell at you to let you know you were in for it?

EYE TURNER 2 of 2

Yesterday I spoke about Cade and his eye turn. That was a very hard thing to deal with knowing your child has a real problem and not knowing if you could do anything to help. Once he was straightened out I was inspired and thought I would be able to help others.

Roll mental camera…

I have seen more children with an eye turns over the past year and a half than I care to count. The latest just a few days ago. There I was watching my older son Connor at practice and here walks by a father and son. His son has a very noticeable eye turn. Every time I see this I feel the urge to talk to them about it but always find a way to talk myself out of it. That is exactly what I did. Then I feel so bad that I could have changed that kid’s life but decided not to because I was to big a wuss to take a risk. Yes, I could have offended them and have been told to mind my own business, but I can live with that… But what I think I worry about the most is the hurt I could cause them by saying something.

They may know all about it but can’t afford the therapy. It could be something that isn’t fixable and I am just pouring salt on the wound. It could have been caused by something the parent did. Who knows.

It may not be an eye turn you have been meaning to talk to someone about but the apprehension is still just as real I bet.

Why is it so hard to take that risk and say something?

Anyone have a surefire way to force the conversation?

I could use the help.