Thanks to Scott over at Big mentioning the Difficult People series that LifeChurch did a few years ago I found a message that really brought back one of my mental home movies. I am leading a group today that is studying the second message in this series about overly needy people. You can see it here. I have really struggled with these types of people.
Roll mental camera…
A now ex-employee of mine was always broke and was always one day away from having their utilities shut off. I felt sorry for her because she had young children. So anytime she asked for help I gave her money to pay bills. I am a trusting person and never second guessed her need nor its validity.
After a long time of handing out I finally started looking at the story behind her story. I noticed that she would go to McDonald’s or Sonic everyday for lunch and always had money for cigarettes. I also learned that her husband was a painter but rarely had work. So I decided to stop giving the hand out and gave her a hand up. I told her that I could hook her husband up with a paint crew that could keep him working. I also told her that I would give her money until he started painting if she would bring lunch from home and stop buying cigarettes.
I never heard from her husband and she kept buying cigarettes and never asked me for money again. But even after giving her that hand up, that she didn’t take, I still felt guilty. This message really showed me that sometimes it is better to let someone hit rock bottom then enable them to keep making bad decisions.
Is it time to let someone fall in your life so they can learn how to stand?
Are you the one that needs to take the hand up and not the hand out?
And the question that is hardest for me to answer,
When do you know that someone has crossed the line from real need to freeloader status?
Roll mental camera…
A now ex-employee of mine was always broke and was always one day away from having their utilities shut off. I felt sorry for her because she had young children. So anytime she asked for help I gave her money to pay bills. I am a trusting person and never second guessed her need nor its validity.
After a long time of handing out I finally started looking at the story behind her story. I noticed that she would go to McDonald’s or Sonic everyday for lunch and always had money for cigarettes. I also learned that her husband was a painter but rarely had work. So I decided to stop giving the hand out and gave her a hand up. I told her that I could hook her husband up with a paint crew that could keep him working. I also told her that I would give her money until he started painting if she would bring lunch from home and stop buying cigarettes.
I never heard from her husband and she kept buying cigarettes and never asked me for money again. But even after giving her that hand up, that she didn’t take, I still felt guilty. This message really showed me that sometimes it is better to let someone hit rock bottom then enable them to keep making bad decisions.
Is it time to let someone fall in your life so they can learn how to stand?
Are you the one that needs to take the hand up and not the hand out?
And the question that is hardest for me to answer,
When do you know that someone has crossed the line from real need to freeloader status?
1 comment:
That's good... tough questions, especially when we want to honor God. But there is definitely a line.
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