LOSS OF FOCUS 2 of 2

Wait where was I? Doesn't have to be shiny to get me off track. Just could easily be morning

Roll mental camera...

Just a few minutes after Connor got side tracked on the "dials" the eyes started to get foggy yet again. Connor is a pretty sharp kid but by 9pm his brain pretty much shuts down. He was tasked with reading a short story and picking out the series of three words that meant the same as "always". Those three words were "all the time".

Connor got "all" right off the bat, but it went downhill quickly from there. He kept searching and searching for the other words. I knew he was getting frustrated when he started pulling out his hair, so I chimed in with, "remember the words are in a series."

The blank stare was upon us.

So I asked him what the word "series" meant to which he replied, "you know, in a row, like 1234." "so then if "all" is correct, then what are the other 2 words?" I said.

I actually heard the wind whistle through his ears.

"if the 3 words are in a series and "all" is correct, then the other 2 words must be?" I hinted further.

Nada, squat, no mas, zilch, dial tone, he had nothing left. Brain had checked out for the night. I finally broke down and showed him what he was missing. Connor's brain shuts down at night but I am the other way around. I can stay sharp until the wee hours of the morning, but get me up early and I am a drooling wookie that can only manage a loud grunt as an answer to a question.

It may not be the time of day or that shiny thing that distracts you from what is important in life. It may just be life that is the distraction. My focus comes and goes way to easy, I need some ritalin for the soul.

Do you have a bit of that ADHD when it comes to focusing on what is important?

Is your life the distraction?

What time of day does your brain not want to function?

LOSS OF FOCUS 1 of 2

That blank stare that tells anyone who looks that the lights are not on, the wheels aren't turning and the hamster has turned in for the night. Yep been there.

Roll mental camera...

Connor, my nine year old, was doing his homework the other night after we got back from Nebraska. It was late but he really wanted to get it done.

Soon he asked me to come over to help him. He needed to fill in the missing word in the following sentence, "The repair man turned the (blank) to adjust the TV's picture." Now for my generation or older that question would be pretty easy, but for a nine year old this was dang hard. He has never seen a TV with a dial on it.

Even after I hinted around and he finally guessed the word he couldn't refocus on his work. He had lost his homework mojo. He was off on a tangent asking questions about old stuff and how it worked back then. That one word took him off track.

Do you find that to be true in your life?

Headed one way and then "oh look something shiny," and off you go?

Yep me too.

Miss Me?

I know I haven't posted much the past few weeks. I could blame it on a bunch of different things but I really just didn't feel like writing. I didn't want blogging to become a burden I didn't enjoy so I took another break after last Monday. Can't promise I won't take another. But as long as I enjoy it and have something to write about, I will write.

RAISING MEN

There has been a lot of talk lately about the raising of men, as opposed to raising boys. Lots of books being written like "Raising a Modern Day Knight" by Robert Lewis and one I really want to read "The Broken American Male" by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

It is not that I mind my boys staying kids as long as they can, because I don't. But when they do grow up I want them to be mentally and physically strong Christ followers. I also want them to be confident in what they do. But where do you draw the line between trusting in the Lord and trusting in themselves?

I heard Rabbi Boteach speak on the 700 club not to long ago and I agree with many things he says about our male youth. He said that many young males are being psychologically castrated when they are young and grow up not knowing how to be a man.

I think God placed us on this earth to be a warrior, and it is up to all of us fathers and mothers to make sure that we keep that spirit alive. I want my sons to be able to stand in the face of adversity and know that their faith in God and determination will lead them through. (All the while being a gentlemen, because you don't have to be a chauvinistic pig to be a warrior.)

Can I have an AMEN!

Do you feel that this generation of young males are learning to be men?

Is it still important for men to be in that alpha role?

Are your boys on their way to being warriors?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

SO I FOLLOWED THE RULES OF BLOGGING AND TOOK THE MANDATORY 3 DAY BREAK THAT COMES AFTER YOUR 150TH POST.

What... you mean you didn't read that rule. Well you better hope the post police don't come after you.

Had to be back for Friday to post these 2 pictures. One should make you laugh and the other smile. So enjoy

REDNECK FIRE ALARM

Have to post this one of Shelly's it was awesome.
(Click on this one because it looks better big)

RAINY DAY FUN

THE FAIR

For my 150th post I thought I would write about an Oklahoman's favorite time of the year. The State Fair is a season in itself to most Oklahomans. They shortened it a few years ago from a massive 16 days down to a mere 11 and we were not happy about it. So most people make up for that by cramming 16 days worth of fun into about 6 hours. I just like to sit back and watch.

Roll mental camera...

Growing up if you wanted to ride the Midway rides you had to buy tickets and shell out 4 on this ride and 5 on that one. But in this new era of over indulgence the tickets just don't cut it anymore so the wrist band was born.

For a mere $25, one person can ride all the rides you want for the entire day. What a bargain (I'm kidding). But Connor my oldest sure enjoyed it. He jumped on every ride he could and tried his hardest to be the cool rider by raising his hands and cheering the whole time. But on a few of the rides he bit off more than he could chew.

The one ride that went upside down and spun around while dropping 30 feet turned him a bit pale. I could see the look of terror on his face as he blurred past me. But by the end of the terror rides he had usually shaken the fear and was back to full enjoyment. Well at least he always said how much he loved the ride after it was over.

I wear a wristband like that but it cost a whole lot more than $25. Jesus dying on that cross has given me a wristband to wear for eternity. I don't have to worry about times when I bite off more than I can chew. Sure those times can be terrifying, but I know that He will bring me out of it and into full joy. Just glad mine lasts more than a day.

Do you have your wristband on?

What feeling does it give you?

Do you have a ride that gave you the look of terror?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

To finish off this week I thought i would throw at you some mildly crude humor. If you don't think this is funny there is something seriously wrong with you. Enjoy and have a great weekend.

Make sure to come back on Monday as Roll turns 150.

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother,

"DON'T EAT IT, IT'S BUTTHOLE."

SELLING DRINKS 4 of 4

Last but not least is the final installment of the series. I am thinking OSU needs put this in their football hall of fame.

Roll mental camera...

The entire day leading up to one particular night game was really hot. So we headed to the stadium in our hot weather selling gear, shorts and a t-shirt. Little did we know a massive cold front was on its way down for a visit.

We thought it odd that people were showing up in short sleeves but carrying coats and blankets. But we just thought they were using them for cushions. We sold a ton of drinks that first half in the heat but like clockwork the cold front pushed in at half time and the temperature drop 40 degrees in 20 minutes.

Needless to say the cold drinks dried up. Man what I would have given to be a hot chocolate vendor that day.

Planning and forethought was not in my bag of tricks back then. The world was now at this moment and nowhere else. I had no time or wanting to look down the road. Sure I paid the price freezing my butt off under the stadium, but that was part of the fun. You just never knew what tomorrow, or the second half, would bring.

Don't worry Shelly this isn't a mid-life crisis post but sometimes you just need to forget about tomorrow and live in the now. Easier said than done.

Any takers?

SELLING DRINKS 3 of 4

Just 1 more day of selling drinks after this one, come on you can handle it

Roll mental camera...

To make the best money selling drinks you had to know how to cheat the system. You see you were given a huge stack of cups at the beginning of the game which you filled yourself and sold. At the end of the game the soda boss would come and count how many cups you had left. If there were 30 cups missing then you owed him $30, a dollar for every missing cup.

I have always been a quick study and quickly figured out how to minimize my payout. During the 4th quarter of the game I stopped selling drinks and focused on collecting cups that people had discarded. I could usually collect 15 or 20 cups by the time the boss man came around. But first I had to take them to the restroom and wash them out and dry them and return them to the stack of unused cups.

I am truly sorry to any OSU football attendees in 1990 that may have happened to buy a drink served in a used cup. Sure that cup may have been used for a spit cup or an ash tray but it was rinsed thoroughly. What you didn't know didn't hurt you (I hope). But hey I got to pocket alot more money thanks to your unknowing sacrifice.

I tried to apply that same reasoning to many thing in life, cutting corners or cheating the system. But it only succeeded in selling drinks. In any other real life experience where I have cut corners it has come back to bite me. So I learned pretty early on that paying your dues and doing it right the first time is always the best policy. My entire foundation in ethics based on used pastic cups, who would have thought.

Was there an instance in your life where you remember learning what ethics really means?

How about the time you learned to cheat the system?

Did it come back to bite you?

SELLING DRINKS 2 OF 4

back to selling drinks at the Oklahoma State football game many many moons ago, and I mean many.

Roll mental camera...

I order to make good money selling things to people in a stadium you have to scream stupid sayings like a New York carnie. I am not sure why, but it is carnie law so they say. No, I have no idea who "they" are.

So that explains why I never made good money. I couldn't bring myself to be creative in selling drinks. I heard guys yelling all kinds of stuff like, "Get your ice cold thirst quenching Coke here," or "Frosty cold Coke just waiting to please here."

Yes, you had to end every sales pitch with "here" just so they would know it was you talking and not the other guy with the cotton candy.

So my sales were directly relational to the weather. HOT lots of money, COLD not so much.

I am definitely guilty of not screaming "Get your one way ticket to heaven here," or "Got your good news and salvation here." If it is a hot crowd full of Christians I have no issues talking it up. But put me in a cold room of non believers and I get quiet in a hurry. I guess I think they will look at me like a New York carnie if I do pipe up.

Do you talk more openly about your faith to Christians than non?

Does the Jesus freak label scare you?

Does the guy saying "here" ever help you locate him?

SELLING DRINKS 1 OF 4

Shelly and I went to the Oklahoma State football game this weekend and it reminded of a few stories of when I was in school there.

Roll mental camera...

Some of my buddies and I used to work the OSU games selling drinks. You would think it was to get into the game for free. But sadly this was pre Boone Pickens so if you had a student ID back then you got in for free. So we did it for the money.

We didn't make much, but it was enough to buy what was important to us back then, pizza and beer. My liver thanks me every day that I outgrew that phase of my life quickly.

I wonder all the time how different my life would be today if I would have been living on the straight and narrow path back then. It is scary to think that I might not have met my wife. Would I have liked to have lived a much cleaner life back then? Sure I would have, but looking at what I have now I wouldn't change it. I have no regrets (well at least of the things I can actually remember doing)

How different is your life now compared to your early twenties?

Were you a "straight and narrow" or a "wild and crazy"?

If you would have taken the opposite path back then do you think you could be in the same place you are now?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

I really hope this clip didn't originate in Oklahoma but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. There really is no video just audio, so make sure your volume is up. Enjoy

TEENAGERS

Shelly and I helped at Big Switch tonight because they were expecting and I think they had around 600 teenagers show up. All the angst and raging hormones was insane. But at least I didn't have to break up any fights.

I hope Connor stays 9 for the rest of his life. I don't think I am ready for a teenager. I am sure his mom would appreciate it to.

Ah to dream

THE SCARE

Natalie's post yesterday reminded me of this so figured I would keep the scare theme going.

Roll mental camera...

I was sound asleep in my outstandingly comfortable memory foam bed when our security alarm decided to test the system. Which results in every alarm in our house going off all at once.

Do you remember in Ghostbusters when Sigourney Weaver AKA "The Gatekeeper" levitates 4 feet above her covers? Yea that was me but throw in an invisible catapult. I went from a dead sleep to nearly setting a record for long jump and the 100 yard dash all at once. I looked like Shaggy and Scooby Doo up in the air legs just churning.

In what felt like a blink of and eye I had sprinted through our entire house, in nothing but my undies, to make sure we weren't on fire or being invaded. I had such an adrenaline rush I couldn't go back to sleep for hours. Talk about a wake up call.

Three of our life group families have had that wake up call in the last week and have made the decision to start new groups. They want to bring the feeling we have for each other to a whole new group of people who may not have the chance otherwise. While it is hard for us to see them go we understand why they are. They will still be part of our family even if we don't get to see them every week.

I guess my put up or shut up post actually worked :-)

When was your last wake up call?

THE SHACK

Our life group is going to read and discuss the book "The Shack". Shelly has already read it so now it is my turn. I have talked to many people who have read it and almost all of them have said the same thing, "you will laugh and then cry and then laugh and then cry."

I am not sure I am ready for a read like that. So I thought I would get your opinion on it if you have read it.

What did you think and is the quote above accurate?

Will it make a man cry too?

Now remember I haven't it so don't be a spoiler.

Reflection

This is a picture that Shelly took of Connor. You can see her reflection as well as the trees and grass behind her in his eye. That in itself is pretty cool but seeing the big picture that it came from amazed me. Can you make it out in the big picture?



Connor looks so happy doesn't he?

I know strange post, sorry. Just thought it was neat

PUT UP OR SHUT UP

I am guest blogging over at Bigisthenewsmall today so please head over there and lay the comments on thick.

Funny stuff will return next week

CALL FOR HELP

Shelly has been spearheading the development of a mission trip. She decided to make good on a quote that she read many years ago from Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

You see our family decided to sponsor a family through The Box Project, which is a charity started by Martin Luther King Jr's wife to help support families that live well below the poverty line in the United States. Our family was a grandmother and her children and grandchildren numbering 9 living in a single wide trailer in disrepair.

But with the very little she has, Grace (the grandmother) has used what we send her to help others that have less than she does. She feeds kids wandering the streets and freely gives away anything she has for anyone in need.

Over the past few years we have learned some shocking things about the reservation they live on in South Dakota. It is called the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and here are a few things we found out about a place that is near 11,000 square miles and is home to over 40,000 people.

97% live below poverty line
84% unemployment rate
Per capita income of less than $4000 a year
Life expectancy for women is 52 and only 48 for men
Infant mortality is 300% higher than national average
Teenage suicide rate is 150% higher than national average
33% lack basic water, sewage and electricity
Many families live in homes that have been considered condemned
Many homes are missing windows and doors where temps reach -50 degrees

So we are going to travel there on September 30th to see what we can do to help. But we don't want to go empty handed.

We are collecting some things that we can take with us in a trailer and will be giving them to around 90 people that Grace lives near and are in dire need of help.
Here is what we are looking for.

Coats of all sizes in kids and adults
Blankets, the warmer the better
Clear plastic sheeting to cover exposed windows and doors
Tarps or other material that can be used to patch or cover large holes in roofs
Plywood sheets that can be used for flooring
Anything else that can help keep people warm and dry this winter

Please send a message out to all your friends and family and let me know if you want to help in any way.

I will be posting again on this in a few weeks. Thanks for any and all of your help and showing God's love to people you don't know and please pray for us we are going to need it.

Below are a few websites and a video that will explain the plight of these people.

friendsofpineridgereservation.org

re-member.org

Drives me crazy

Yesterday's post about the "wild hair" ended up causing me distress. Why you might ask? Well maybe you wouldn't but you are going to get the response anyway.

Hope made a comment asking what "wild hair" meant and when I went to respond I was going to link the Ask.com or Wikipedia answer. But all that did was prove that I am an idiot.

You see, it isn't "wild hair" it is "wild hare". I am in my late 30s and never knew it was "hare". Feel free to look it up if you want but I can't bring myself to link my own ignorance.

That is what distressed me. Ignorance like that makes me feel like a bumbkin. (Hope you will have to Google that one for yourself)

I can't even stand it if I think I am misspelling a word or using it incorrectly unless I am doing it on purpose. I would rather go through the trouble of looking it up in the dictionary or changing the word all together before I use it incorrectly. I can't even bring myself to text using any of the text lingo. I have to spell everything out.

I know... but it is my curse and I live with it.

So next time I get a "wild hare" to use a cliche' I will make sure and do the background check first.

When is the last time your own ignorance jumped up and bit you?

THE CLEANER

The wild hair grew crazy and unruly this weekend. I could not control it any longer.

Roll mental camera...

I usually try to avoid tackling large projects on holiday weekends, or any other week end for that matter. But our garage had become the catch all and was in desperate need of a clean out. The wild hair had been growing for some time but there was no controlling it this weekend.

Pulling nearly everything out of the garage, I actually used the leaf blower to clean out all the funk and then used the hose and broom to finish the job.

I pulled Shelly (under protest) into my project to help me reorganize because I have a tendancy to just throw everything away and I knew that would land me in hot water. Three hours and a bucket of sweat later the garage looked stellar. I can honestly say it looked better than the day we moved in. Of course the day we moved in the garage was stuffed full of all kinds of crud.

Don't you love when a wild hair takes over and you just have to clean/fix/build something? It is always inspiring to me when I see the final result. I just wish I could harness that wild hair because lazy comes back way to easy.

When was the last time the wild hair bug bit you?

What did you destroy or create?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

-No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

-When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

-You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

-Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.

-You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

-Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

-Wrinkles don't hurt.

-Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts

-Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

-Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

The world is full of opportunities behind closed doors, so start knocking.
John Maxwell

opportunity knocks but impulse just lets itself in
Roger Garrett

I tried for deep and meaningful and this is what I came up with... Sorry
So you might want to take some good from the first 2

THE HUSSY

This post is not intended to offend. You have been warned.

Roll mental camera...

I was about 9 when that hussy family member of mine got knocked up. Yes she went out and got frisky with every Tom that she could find I think. She was bound and determined.

She hung around the house the whole time she was pregnant mooching off of all of us. Expecting us to clean up after her, feed her and give her all the attention because she was the pregnant one.

After all of that care we gave her, she gave birth and then took off and we didn't see her for nearly a week. We got stuck bottle feeding and caring for her babies the whole time she was gone. (yes I said babies, plural)

When she finally came back she buckled down and took over the mom duties. Finally we could sleep. I was never so glad to see that hussy, also known as our cat.

Have you ever had those times when you are so happy to have something/someone back that you forget about all the negative stuff you were thinking while it/they were gone. I was that way about Konnect this summer. Not sure if I wanted to start it all over again etc. But now that we are back at it I have no idea why I thought that. I am having a great time.

When have you welcomed back something you were nashing?

Have you ever had a hussy cat?

THE DRIVE HOME

The road less traveled? Nope this one is about the road often traveled

Roll mental camera...

I was driving home last night as I always do. Next thing I know I am pulling into my housing addition.

My heart starting beating fast and I was a little panicked because I had no idea how I had gotten there. I must have spaced out the entire drive home. I seriously do not remember stopping for a red light, making a turn or following the speed limit.

For all I know I was abducted by aliens, probed in who knows what kinds of ways and returned to earth right outside of my addition.

Do you ever feel that way about your life. I can't remember many of the things that got me to where I am today. I am just glad they happened and I am where I am. So if aliens were involved then I guess I need to thank them.

Do you remember how you got to where you are or is it a blur?

Where are you?

Do you ever space out on the drive home and not remember it?

TIGHT SPACES

Tight spaces freak me out. I am not a fan, never have been, never will be.

Roll mental camera...

I used to spend some time out at my cousin's farm when I was a kid. No we did not go cow tipping. I am not sure that is even possible.

One time we were on a hike and found a big metal storm tube that ran underneath the road. My cousin wanted so badly to crawl through it to the other side. I could see the light from the other side so I figured it couldn't be that bad.

The tube/pipe was just big enough for me to crawl into but not big enough to turn around in. I started out fine but the farther I got into the tube the more freaked out I got. About half way through I was in full panic mode. I couldn't turn around and I didn't want to go any farther forward. CLAUSTROPHOBIA

I feel that way quite a bit about my faith. I can't and don't want to turn around and go back but going farther scares me as well. Where will it take me? What will I have to sacrifice? Will I lose all that comfort I have grown to like so much?

Are you stuck in the tube?

Does giving it all up for Him scare you?

Anyone else claustrophobic?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

To close out this week I wanted to give you all some way to help out your friends in need.
So to all my friends out there I pledge...

When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused -- I will use little words.

When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well Again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. Friendship is like wetting your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth...

WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE

So a swimmer from South Africa made it to the olympics and swam in the open water competition. Not necessarily a huge deal until you take into consideration she only has one leg.

I have fully functional limbs a whine when I have to take the stairs. Another day learning that the only thing holding me back from anything and everything is me. I need to put down the excuses and step away.

What is your excuse you need to step away from?

REALITY

Only in women's gymnastic can they use the words "long and elegant lines" to describe a women that stands a whopping 5 foot 3. I have eyebrow hair longer than her.

Also the only place where a women of 4 foot 9 can be described as an "absolute powerhouse." Really... she could weigh more than what 50 pounds. I have belly button lint that weighs more than that.

I am kidding of course and those 2 ladies were awesome at the olympics. But what it really teaches me is that the reality is what you make it. It doesn't matter your situation as God put you there for a reason. I pray you find your reason.

THE WAIT

Wait… wait… wait… wait… WAIT FOR IT

Roll mental camera…

I was just about to turn 16 and couldn’t wait to get a car. Let me rephrase that. I couldn’t wait to get a car that would keep me up with the Jones’.

Yes most of the kids that I went to school with had their car bought for them by their parents. Yes they were really expensive and brand new. No my parents weren’t going to buy me anything.

But that didn’t matter because I was destined to get a cool kid car. So I took every penny I could come up with (about $1200) and opened the paper looking for the only car that would work. Drum roll please. Yes I was looking for a BMW. I just had to have that status symbol. Believe it or not I actually found a BMW for $1200.

It was a 1969 model 2002 in fair condition, which translated really meant a primer painted rusty metal box with wheels, an engine (kinda) and a transmission that would sometimes stay attached to the car. But it did have a spot on the hood that I could stick a new BMW emblem after I bought it.

No matter how hard people tried to talk me out of it I just couldn’t wait to get it.

Until very recently I was stuck in the “can’t wait” line. God was always a fall back only when I couldn’t do it myself on my time line. I have started to realize the power of waiting.

Do you need to wait?

Do you have an impulse buy you regret and should have waited on?

THE EVACUATOR

For those of you with children this story will probably make you laugh and wish you had had me around when your kids were babies.

Roll mental camera…

My wife and I are the youngest in both of our families. So we were around a lot of babies before ours were born. I quickly got a name for myself around the families for my uncanny ability to induce the #2 in my nephews or niece.

Yep that is right I was known as Uncle Poop. No they didn’t really call me that but they should have. It wouldn’t matter if that baby had just gone poop 10 minutes ago or hadn’t gone in 2 days. If they put that baby in my hand it was pretty much a guarantee that they were going to go again.

That wouldn’t have been bad except that most of the time my powers were so great that I would induce a movement that I like to call “THE EVACUATOR”. I am sure most of you know what I am talking about... the poop that would explode out of every opening in the diaper... up the back and down the legs, leaving very little in the actual diaper. Boy those were fun times, fun times.

But the funny thing is I really hope that I can be Uncle Poop in my adult relationships. Of course I mean that in a figurative sense. I hope I can be the type of person that someone feels comfortable enough to unload all of their heartache on. I have people like that in my life and want to be there for others. So if you have some “stuff” you need to unload...

Do you have that go to person that you unload on?

Are you person people come to?

Do you have a knack of some sort with babies? (Hopefully much more enjoyable than mine)

I promise I will get away from the poop posts eventually

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

Sorry I was an olympic addict Wednesday night and didn't post for Thursday. But not much happened. Yesterday was so much better with Phelps winning another gold in world record time and the women going 1 2 in the all around in gymnastics.

I couldn't end the week without a little humor. So here are some funny T-shirt ideas I have seen

THE POOP

Looks like the USA Women's gymnastics team saw the poop instead of the popsicle last night.

China opened the door with the fall on the beam and our girls followed suit. Then they did it again on the floor exercise.

You could see it in their eyes and body language that they were not happy with a silver.

Funny how things can be so different with a higher medal. It is all about expectations.

Is it easier to set your goals low and then be crazy happy when you reach beyond them?

or

Do you set you goals for the top and be disappointed when you fall even a bit short?

Happier with less or frustrated with more? man hard choice

POPSICLES

When you are a kid and you drop your popsicle on the carpet and it gets covered in dirt and hair you still see a popsicle.

When you grow up and you drop your popsicle in the poop all you see is poop.

The USA men's gymnastics team won the bronze medal today and they didn't see a missed gold or silver they saw a bronze medal. Good for them

Do you see the popsicle despite the poop?

OPEN MOUTH INSERT FOOT

I so love the Olympics. Last night reinforced why.

Roll mental camera...

The French talked some serious smack about crushing the American team in the freestyle relay. So I was waiting to see how the trash talking effected the race.

I really hope everyone got to see the race. But if not let me explain, no there is too much, let me sum up. (had to toss in some Princess Bride)

The French guy who shot off at the mouth was the anchor leg and was well out in front of our American dude Jason Lezak. At the turn it was all but over. But in the last 25 meters Jason kicks it into another gear and catches the big mouthed Frenchy. He beat him to the wall by a fingernail while swimming the fastest leg in history.

Now I call that forcible foot in mouth. But to really put it into perspective on how awesome the race was ALL OF THE TOP FIVE FINISHING TEAMS SWAM UNDER THE PREVIOUS WORLD RECORD. Now that is impressive.

Only one thing to learn about this story. Don't talk smack to Americans because it does nothing but get us motivated to whip your butt. Well OK I guess we could also learn to hold our tongue because it will come back to bite you. But I still really enjoyed watching the USA whip some tail.

Do you get pumped up for the olympics?

Are you like me and could care less what sport is on as long as an American is playing?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

It is that time again people. But today's installment of Vavrinaisms is laced with a bit of "git yur learn on" as we Okies like to say. Well some Okies might say that.

So laugh and learn and have a good weekend

FAITH IS THE ABILITY NOT TO PANIC

BLESSED BE THE FLEXIBLE, FOR THEY SHALT NOT BE BENT OUT OF SHAPE

A GRUDGE IS A HEAVY THING TO CARRY

DEAR GOD: I HAVE A PROBLEM... IT'S ME

GOD WANTS SPIRITUAL FRUIT, NOT RELIGIOUS NUTS

HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS IS STILL DEAD

THERE IS NO KEY TOP HAPPINESS. THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN SO COME ON IN

REAP WHAT YOU SEW

People call it reaping what you sew or karma, but whatever it is called I believe in it.

Roll mental camera…

My post Dress Up explained how my sister used to dress me up when I was a wee tyke. On one of these days she had me in one of mom’s long nightgowns when I finally had had enough. I bolted like a greyhound from the gates. But she was like a hound after a rabbit and closed the gap fast. We rounded a corner and she stepped on the gown. I tripped and fell with a

CRACK

My nose met her doll house at mach 4. My nose lost the battle. Two black eyes and a deviated septum later I was all better.

A while after that I decided to get my revenge on my sister. I was pushing her down the street in a wagon and forced her into the curb and as she tipped over and fell out she broke her arm on the curb. Revenge is sweet.

I am totally kidding about the revenge part, her hitting the curb was a total accident. I never meant to hurt her like she never meant to hurt me. Some could still say she had it coming LOL.

Even though the story wasn’t really a Galatians 6:7 “reap what you sew,” the picture holds true. Whatever you put out there is like a big ole boomerang. I am trying to make sure what I am flinging out there won’t hurt when it comes back and hits me in the back of the head.

Are your boomerangs of the Nerf variety or something out of “The Road Warrior”? (you might need to rent the movie if you don’t remember that wicked boomerang)

Did you ever unleash the fury on a sibling (by accident or not)?

T V

Felt terrible Monday night so I didn't post for Tuesday. About the only time I actually watch TV is when I am not feeling well. There are 2 shows that I really like to watch the first being anything mixed martial arts or MMA.

The second is Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. I can't get enough of watching him eat all of that crazy stuff.

I just need to know if I am really missing out on a show that I haven't watched. So please fill me in.

What is your favorite TV show and why?

ALL IN A NAME

So how many times have you heard your kid say “that isn’t the kind I like.” The word “kind” could be changed to style, name brand, color, or flavor.

Roll mental camera…

I wrote about my wreck of a bike last week with its spray painted frame and mixed matched wheels. But I definitely don’t remember caring that it was like that. I thought it was cool.

I wore hand me down clothes that were too big or faded. Jeans with patches all over the knees that had been hemmed a dozen times and let out. But still I don’t remember caring.

The first time I remember caring about anything that I had or wore was the first time my parents bought me a pair of corduroy pants that had a big patch on the back pocket that said HUSKY.

I know it was just a name brand but I was a pretty chubby kid and that patch just gave all the other kids ammunitions. Not what an overgrown boy needs.

I am sure I wasn’t the only one that grew up not caring about name brands, etc. Man times sure have changed and it is getting harder and harder to keep my kids from caring about that crud. But honestly I don’t think I could dress them in clothes that were jacked up as bad as some of the ones I wore.

Did you care about that stuff as a kid?

Do you now?

How would your kids answer the above questions?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

I know you all have been waiting on pins and needles for a new round of Vavrinaisms. So here you go in all of their glory. Enjoy and have a great weekend

DRIVE CAREFULLY. IT’S NOT ONLY CARS THAT CAN BE RECALLED BY THEIR MAKER

SOME MISTAKES ARE TOO MUCH FUN TO ONLY MAKE ONCE

NEVER PUT BOTH FEET IN YOUR MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE THEN YOU WON’T HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON

IF YOU CAN’T BE KIND, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO BE VAGUE

ACCEPT THAT SOME DAYS YOU’RE THE STATUE, AND SOME DAYS YOU’RE THE PIGEON

ALWAYS KEEP YOUR WORDS SOFT AND SWEET, JUST IN CASE YOU HAVE TO EAT THEM

ALWAYS READ STUFF THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD IF YOU DIE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT

and one to grow on

WE COULD LEARN A LOT FROM CRAYONS---SOME ARE SHARP---SOME ARE PRETTY----SOME ARE DULL. SOME HAVE WEIRD NAMES AND ALL ARE DIFFERENT COLORS---BUT THEY ALL HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SAME BOX

ENDO

Its like riding a bike. One of those phrases that makes sense only to people who know how.

Roll mental camera...

I was 8 or 9 and was of course a master of the BMX bike. My dad bought one for me at an auction. It was a total wreck of a bike that had spokes on the front wheel and a cool mag like in the picture for the other. The frame had a cool urban paint job, or more commonly known as spray paint.

I was riding down a hill by my house with some friends. One of them said to me that you could stop the bike by sticking your foot on the back of the front tire. I just had to try it.

The result was the front tire stopped but the rest of the bike, including myself, continued to move forward. The bike lingo for that picture above is called an "endo".

So there I was vertical on my front wheel and having no idea what to do next. My balance didn't last but a second and I came crashing back to earth with a thud.

I often believed things that sounded good, right or logical. I paid the price for many of those times. I currently try to make sure I see past the glossy cover and dig into the actual truth. That has saved me a lot of backside if you know what I mean.

Do you check Snopes before you believe an email you read?

Guilty of believing whatever you read?

LIKE A WEED

Both of my boys have been growing like weeds. They are definitely in a growth spurt.

Roll mental camera...

Between April of my 7th grade year and September of my 8th grade year I had a massive growth spurt. I grew from 5'8" to 6'4" in 6 months. Yes it hurt like crazy and I have the stretch marks to prove it. I was like a shrinky dink in reverse.

I went from being an already pretty tall kid that was way pudgy to a fairly thin bean pole nearly overnight. I have since reclaimed my pudginess, for posterity sake of course.

Growing pains hurt for the body as well as the soul. I have been dealing with the growing pains of trying to be a better person. Trying to shed old habits and take on better ones is not easy for me. External change for me has never been a problem but internal is a whole other story.

Is your soul ready for some growing pains?

How do you deal with them?

Remember shrinky dinks? I guess you would put them in the freezer if you wanted them to grow

WILD TANGENT

Ever had one of those days where no matter what you do you can't seem to get to finish the task at hand?

Roll mental camera...

I am a junkie for OPEN. I download stuff for freedom farm and a bunch of other things I am involved in. But today I have been trying to download the WHY series for a friend of mine.

The computer on the other hand decides that it is just too full to take any more.

LOW DISK SPACE

So I stared searching and saw that my documents and settings folder was almost 60 gigs. That is absolutely huge and so I knew something was wrong. Problem is I know enough about computers just to be dangerous. So I called my brother-in-law who is the wizard of all things computery.

I thought I would go off on this wild tangent to possibly be of help to any others who may be dealing with a bulging hard drive. Try these three small applications.

They cleared out 37 gigs of crud out of my hard drive.

CCLEANER
ADVANCED DISK CLEANER
FOLDER SIZE

THE DRAGONFLY

So have I mention that my wife takes some great pictures before? If you click on the picture and look at the big version you can really appreciate more that just a nice picture.

Look at the the wings and how intricately they were designed. It is hard for me to image God as a massive all powerful being when I see such delicate perfection.

I envision Him sitting a work bench with his tools building the wings like an artist making a leaded glass window. Taking his time to make sure they are just right.

I know He could just snap his finger and create but I don't think He will mind if I think of him as a master craftsman just working in his shop.

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

I used to love to watch the "Carrol Burnett Show." I would like to say that it was because Carrol Burnett reminds me of my mom (which she does) but in truth it was because of Tim Conway. All of his crazy characters really cracked me up and still do. I found this video and I hope you like it as much as I do. Have a great weekend.

AWE

Do you remember that first time in your life that your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't breathe.

Roll mental camera...

I posted before on my first Roller coaster ride The Big Dipper. Climbing into the seat I though was an accomplishment all on its own. I was scared to death.

But when it started moving up the first hill and I heard the all familiar clack, clack, clack, a new emotion started to develop. We got to the top and and right as it started to whirl down the other side it hits.

AWE

I don't remember feeling it before that moment. Once you feel it it is hard not to want it again. I have had it many times since, accepting Christ, getting married and the birth of my sons just to name a few. Awe is one emotion I never really get tired of.

When was your last AWE moment?

Are you in need of another?

SHAG

I have the new age shag in my house now but it doesn’t compare to the 70s version I grew up on.

Roll mental camera…

The picture doesn’t quite do justice to the carpet that was in the house I grew up in. Ours was much shaggier. I always felt like I was entering a jungle when I came in the house. Secondly it looks way to clean.

I can still hear my parents scream as they stepped on one of my jacks or dozens of other small pointy toys that were hidden among the ever growing mounds of shag. I swear that carpet consumed things. It hid bits and pieces like an old man’s beard.

I always found myself lying around trying to find all the hidden treasurers that the carpet was keeping locked away. I felt like a monkey you see at the zoo cleaning the fur of another monkey. The carpet always had something new to give.

I look at this two ways. I am the shag that is full of junk and is in need of a good cleaning. Or… God is the shag full of endless treasure that awaits anyone who looks for it.

Depends on the day which way I see it.

Are you the shag or is God?

Do you hide the junk or search for the treasure?

Did anyone else have cool orange shag like me?

TAKE TWO

I thought I would one one of my first posts again because I am definitely needing the reminder...

Roll mental camera…

My buddies and I were sitting on our bikes one day. I was probably 8 or 9. When what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a dump truck full of dirt. It rolled down our street and deposited a huge mountain of dirt at the end of the block. You could feel the electricity in the air as we all looked at each other with that Evel Knievel spirit. The fact that it sat no more than 10 feet from an intersection with no stop signs could not dissuade us. The fact that it looked 10 feet tall and as steep as Everest couldn’t hold us back. Helmets… we don’t need no stinking helmets. We were determined to jump to glory.

Bike after bike rode up the mound and down the other side. I remember like it was yesterday, launching off of the top of that mound traveling at the speed of light and doing no less than 3 back flips before hitting the ground. In all reality you might have been able to see sunlight between my tires and dirt and that is about it. But there was never a reservation. Never any doubt or fear. BLIND FAITH…

The mound only lasted a few days before the dirt was moved but that feeling has always stuck with me. I want to have that blind faith back and not second guess it. I want to filter out my own logic and reason when faith is concerned. Not the other way around.

Do you have a story of when you had blind faith as a child?

How about as an adult? That is a much harder questions isn’t it.

How do we get it back?

ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND

Shelly and I got away this weekend and went to a nice bed and breakfast in Hot Springs, Arkansas. We went over to the Garvan Woodland Garden to get some great pictures. Shelly took a ton of great garden shots but I think this one is amazing. It was taken through the middle of a tower.

WHAT AN EYE SHE HAS

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

Some new Vavrinaisms have been uncovered so enjoy.

If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the vacation.

For ever action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

No husband has ever been shot doing the dishes.

Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places.

EINSTEIN MEETS HOMER

Einstein meets Homer is the only thing I can say to introduce this post.

Roll mental camera…

We adopted our most recent dog Casey a few years ago. She is bi-polar in brains. This dog is smart enough to open the back door unless we dead bolt it. She is also dumb enough not to remember that if she runs through the back door at full speed onto slippery tile she is going to be able to stop or turn before slamming into the island in the kitchen.

This dog has run through that back door and slammed into our kitchen island no less than 100 times. I figured at some point with her massive door opening intelligence that she would get it. Then I remembered something…

I am a college graduate, successful business man, can solve a Rubik’s cube in under 2 minutes and do sudokus with a pen. BUT, I can never remember when to use the word “effect” or “affect”. I sure I have used the word effect or affect thousands of times but it still hasn’t sunk in.

Maybe Casey can affect my grammar, but I doubt it will have any effect. Yes I had to look it up to know that I used them correctly in that sentence.

Do you have some Einstein meets Homer moments?

Give me some examples of your genius and your “DOH”

MacGyver

To be able to make a thermo nuclear bomb with a used Kleenex, some chewing gum, a bit of fishing line and duct tape would be awesome. I loved MacGyver.

Roll mental camera…

I loved MacGyver when I was a kid, but in reality I was the anti-MacGyver. I was always taking things apart instead of putting them together. If I couldn’t see how it worked by looking at it, whatever it was, was in trouble. I could sometimes hold out for a few days while my brain tried to rationalize how it worked, but at some point it was coming apart.

I always tried to take it apart neatly so I could put it back together. More than not by the end, a hammer was being used and there was no hope of putting humpty back together again. Well that is unless MacGyver was there.

I think I have finally out grown that when it comes to my faith. I don’t have to see it to believe it. I don’t have to try and dissect it just for it to make sense.

Are you still trying to see it with your own eyes instead of just believing?

Is it time to stop being rational?

Can you handle not knowing how gismos and gadgets work? I still can’t

SIDE SPLITTING

Laugh, cackle, guffaw, chortle, giggle, snicker and snort. I am sure I did all of these last night.

Roll mental camera...

I rode out to Freedom Farm with one of the graduates who was returning for a visit. His name is Cody and he is an absolute riot. The entire hour and a half round trip was filled with his hysterical tirades on the most random topics ever created by man.

By the end of the night he acting out a scene for a Chinese restaurant. He was not only the waiter but the patrons and the cook. At one point he had the Chinese waiter singing a country song that sounded like Johnny Cash meets Jackie Chan. My cheeks are still sore from from smiling and laughing.

I liked the way Cody says it. "I love to laugh and laugh hard. I love to make people laugh and laugh hard. I didn't get to do that when I was messed up on drugs so I try to do it every chance I get now. It is good for the soul."

Can't say it much better than that. Laugh and laugh hard

SUN v SON

I used to really love the sun.

Roll mental camera…

I was a young teenager and spent a summer day out at our local water park. I was still bullet proof, as I have mentioned before, so I went without sunscreen. 8 hours in the sun put a kink in my armor.

By the time I got home my chest was bubbled and glowing red like a lava flow. I not only was in mucho pain I also had an allergic reaction to the sun. My chest felt like it was coated in itching powder. Scratching was totally out of the question.

I tried ice packs and sun burn sprays but nothing helped. By dark I was in the emergency room. They had to give me a huge shot Benadryl to stop the reaction. For the next week I looked like I spent time on the Ghostbusters set with all of the aloe my mother slimed me with.

Needless to say the sun was no longer my friend. It felt great while I was in it, but I wasn’t careful and it messed me up.

Even something as life giving as the sun can be destructive. There is only one Son I can immerse myself in forever and not get burned.

Have you spent too much doing something that felt good only to get messed up by it?

How bad have you paid the price for a wicked sun burn?

FRIDAY UNSCRIPTED

These are some of my favorite quotes from some of my favorite comedians. Have a great weekend

"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
Rodney Dangerfield

"I was so ugly when I was born the doctor slapped my mother."
Henny Youngman

"I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world."
Steven Wright

"Sincerity is everything, if you can fake that you have it made."
George Burns

"A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice."
Bill Cosby

"Always do whatever is next." and "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
George Carlin

"Insomnia is my greatest inspiration."
John Stewart

"I like to drink my biscuits"
Perry Noble

MUST HAVE BEEN HOT

I was messing around on Biblegateway.com doing some research for a post I was wanting to write and had never really noticed how violent the old testament is. I searched the word "struck" and it came back with 142 hits, almost all of which were in the old testament. Either God was doing the striking or He was commanding the strike, and the people were walking away with a black eye because the were no longer walking.

I think the theme song for the old testament should be "Another one bites the dust" by Queen.

Man I am glad I live in the A.D.

The world prior to Jesus must have been hot, if you know what I mean.

HEAT WAS ON

Like I said yesterday the heat makes great fodder, but this time it wasn’t the summer causing the heat.

Roll mental camera…

When I was younger I had a fascination for fire. I posted about it before in “Where there is smoke”.

Some buddies and I used to make a little fire in a tall grassy field between 2 houses across the street. We would melt chocolate in a little pan and fondue anything we could get our hands on. Boys never go for strawberries.

We did dunk butterflies, crickets, worms, rolly pollies and the occasional june bug. By the middle of the summer we had a menagerie of chocolate critters in our collection.

But one dry day I knocked over the pot and the grass caught fire. That small fire turned huge in a matter of seconds.

We ran like crazy to the house and called the fire department (anonymously of course). I was so scared when the fire department showed up my mom knew I was guilty by just looking at me. They just barely saved the houses but I just knew I was going to jail. Thank goodness caller ID had not been invented yet.

That has always reminded me how even very small things can get out of control quickly. So I tend to let God be my fire department now days and help me put it out before it rages.

Do you have any small fires burning?

Do you need to call the fire department on a big one?

Have you ever seen a chocolate covered worm?

HEAT IS ON

Summer heat in Oklahoma makes for great story fodder.

Roll mental camera…

We had another double header in baseball last night and it was hot. It has been dry so the dust from the field was terrible. It felt like a dirty sauna out there.

I was enjoying feeling sweat trickle down my back as I coached 3^rd base. The dirt was getting in my shoes and sticking to my sweaty feet. I so enjoy grit between my toes. My eyes were burning from the constant sand blasting. And there is nothing like blowing your nose and the result is mud pies. I know the mental imagery is outstanding.

As an old friend of mine would have so eloquently put it “I was sweating like a lady of the night in church.” Of course in his version he used just one colorful word to describe the lady.

But I often find myself feeling like that lady. I too easily forget about God’s grace and let the things I have done or have left undone interfere with my relationship with Him. Just have to keep reminding myself that He is like the cool shower I took after the game. All I have to do is get in.

Do you find yourself uncomfortably gritty?

Do you forget about the shower He always has waiting?

A side note: Shelly thanks you all for the nice words about her photos

PICTURE POST

Shelly has been out burning up memory cards so I thought I would brag on her a bit more. Here are some animals she took on some of our more recent day trips I talked about last week. She has a bunch of new pics on her website so go check them out if you haven't visited it in a while. The link is over on the right. We are always looking for good titles for the pictures so please add a comment.